What on Earth are You Doing?

Many people have been asking me "Sandy, why are you moving out to Victoria?". I've been in Calgary for ten years. Ten years is a long time in any place and that city was beginning to seep into my pores too deeply for me to continue feeling good about Calgary. It's a cold city, both in temperature and in temperament. There was nothing left to explore, which left me surrounded by boors with far too much money telling me how much they've spent on their watch. To summarize, I wasn't moving to Victoria. I was leaving Calgary, as well as numerous, wonderful people that I've grown fond of over the years. My friends are the only thing I'll be missing. That and a couple of fantastic restaurants. In all seriousness, I'm not sure I'll ever find a bowl of Pho Sate that will ever be the same.

Many people have also been asking me "What are you going to be doing for work?". I haven't the foggiest and this response usually shocks people. I've gotten the same look over and over again, the 'You're a complete fool' look. They might be right but I pride myself on being malleable and flexible. Needless to say, employment isn't something I'm terribly concerned about at the moment. I have a pleasant little nest egg saved up and I am entertaining the thought of working in the hospitality industry.

Let´s get back to the big question. Why I moved to Victoria. I moved because Calgary was a safe place where I had a safe job and lead a safe life. I got a safe education that prepared me for work in a safe industry. And people, let me tell you, that fucking life style was killing me a little bit every day. I hated playing it safe. I have no desire to start a family and I doubt I´ll own enough things that would warrant the purchase of a house, so there was no real need to continue playing it safe. I played it safe for so long because it was expected of me. I played it safe because it was easy. I played it safe for way too long.

So I sold or gave away most of my things, packed the rest and shipped myself out west. I hardly know anyone out here and work is hard to come by. It´s going to be a challenge but I´m more than up for it. Besides, seafood is expensive and hard to come by in the prairies and I´ve got the hugest food boner for tasty sea treats.

Anyhoo, that´s the story of why I moved out here. It could be the dumbest thing I´ve ever done but thankfully getting hot sauce on my pecker was pretty fucking stupid. I take solace in the fact that I´ll have to fuck up pretty badly to top scorching my knob with delicious habanero sauce. No need to fret, I´ll one day retell the tale of me burning my weiner. In fact, they´ll be plenty of stories about my penis to both enthrall and amuse you in later days.

In closing, I´ll leave you this thought. When people start talking about the glass being half full or half empty, that´s usually when I crack another bottle of wine.

Sincerely,

The Illustrious Mr. Charlton

p.s. I´m hammering this out on a tiny little netbook. If the layout looks strange, that´ll be why.