Lunch

Hey all, it's been a while. All kinds of sorry about that. The last couple of months have been crazy hectic. New job, new place. A month and a half staying with (wonderful) friends. Mr. Charlton has been busy! Bad News. Might be a little more time before I write another blog post. I'm lacking an internet connection at home, and it could be some time before I make that happen. In the mean time, I'll share with you an email that I sent to my entire office here at work. All 650+ of 'em. Enjoy.

Hi all. My name is Sandy. You might, might have seen me around the office at some point. If not, here’s what I look like.

Look at that handsome sack of pistols and chillies

Anyways, you might be wondering why I’d send out a massive email to everybody. That’s a good question. You see, I love Lunch and pretty much every Friday, I go out for Lunch. That’s what I do. Friday? Out for Lunch. I used to have a rule, that every Friday, come rain or shine, I go for Lunch. This isn’t some sort of thing I buck on either. If it’s Friday, I go for Lunch. Always. No exceptions.

Maybe you think I’m kidding around. Some of you might be saying to yourselves “Surely sir, you jest”. I do not jest. Not about Lunch. Oh, ol’ Sandy here will joke about a lot of things. But I do not tarnish the greatest meal of the day by kidding around. Lunch deserves respect.

Some people might go ahead and say that the most important meal of the day is breakfast. Maybe that’s true. I can tell you one thing right now, though. It’s certainly not the best. Because that happens to be Lunch. You can argue with me all you want, but the moment an entire meal can be replaced with a smoothie, that’s when the meal has given up and thrown in the towel.

If drinks had emotions, this one would be feeling shame and regret

I can hear you now. “Well then Sandy, why don’t you just go for Lunch?” That’s another good question. Because I need a Lunch crew. I can’t go for Lunch all by myself, that’s not cool. What am I going to do? Who am I going to talk to? Myself? Crazy people do that, and the only thing I’m crazy about is Lunch.

I’ve tried getting people in my own department to head out and grab some grub, but they all want to stay in the office. They’re not huge fans of Lunch. That’s okay. I’m not angry.  But I need a team of people to tackle this midday repas.

So I’m extending this call-to arms, if you will, to the entire office. Everybody. I figure, hey, if you don’t know me yet, you do now. It could be that people will know me as the Lunch guy, and that’s not a bad person to be. It’s Tuesday now with Friday right around the corner. You people let me know. Keep me posted. You wanna come visit me? Here’s a map.

I am not showing you a map of where I work.

I hope to hear from some of you soon!

Sandy

p.s. I am down for any kind of Lunch. That means; Vietnamese, Chinese, Dim Sum, Indian, Pub Food, café or Diner, Thai, Caribbean, Italian, Sandwich shops, Lebanese, Middle eastern, and pretty much anything I haven’t listed. I ain’t hard to please. Except for fast food. We can do better than that.

p.p.s. Notice how I capitalize Lunch every time? I take it that seriously.

p.p.p.s. If there is already an established Lunch guy around here, I ain’t here to steal your thunder. I’m fresh as a daisy around here, so bear with me. You can be the Lunch King, I’ll be the Lunch Duke or Earl or something. I can absolutely live with that.

Sincerely,

The Illustrious Mr. Charlton

p.p.p.p.s. To all the people stemming from the blog, yes, I caught a fair amount of shit for this email. Thank heavens I'm pretty.