Hi all. My name is Sandy. You might, might have seen
me around the office at some point. If not, here’s what I look like.
Look at that handsome sack of pistols and chillies
Anyways, you might be wondering why I’d send out a massive
email to everybody. That’s a good question. You see, I love Lunch and pretty
much every Friday, I go out for Lunch. That’s what I do. Friday? Out for Lunch.
I used to have a rule, that every Friday, come rain or shine, I go for Lunch.
This isn’t some sort of thing I buck on either. If it’s Friday, I go for Lunch.
Always. No exceptions.
Maybe you think I’m kidding around. Some of you might be
saying to yourselves “Surely sir, you jest”. I do not jest. Not about Lunch.
Oh, ol’ Sandy here will joke about a lot of things. But I do not tarnish the
greatest meal of the day by kidding around. Lunch deserves respect.
Some people might go ahead and say that the most important
meal of the day is breakfast. Maybe that’s true. I can tell you one thing right
now, though. It’s certainly not the best. Because that happens to be Lunch. You
can argue with me all you want, but the moment an entire meal can be replaced
with a smoothie, that’s when the meal has given up and thrown in the towel.
If drinks had emotions, this one would be feeling
shame and regret
I can hear you now. “Well then Sandy, why don’t you just go
for Lunch?” That’s another good question. Because I need a Lunch crew. I
can’t go for Lunch all by myself, that’s not cool. What am I going to do? Who
am I going to talk to? Myself? Crazy people do that, and the only thing
I’m crazy about is Lunch.
I’ve tried getting people in my own department to head out
and grab some grub, but they all want to stay in the office. They’re not huge
fans of Lunch. That’s okay. I’m not angry. But I need a team of
people to tackle this midday repas.
So I’m extending this call-to arms, if you will, to the
entire office. Everybody. I figure, hey, if you don’t know me yet, you do now.
It could be that people will know me as the Lunch guy, and that’s not a bad
person to be. It’s Tuesday now with Friday right around the corner. You people
let me know. Keep me posted. You wanna come visit me? Here’s a map.
I am not showing you a map of where I work.
I hope to hear from some of you soon!
Sandy
p.s. I am down for any kind of Lunch. That means;
Vietnamese, Chinese, Dim Sum, Indian, Pub Food, café or Diner, Thai, Caribbean,
Italian, Sandwich shops, Lebanese, Middle eastern, and pretty much anything I
haven’t listed. I ain’t hard to please. Except for fast food. We can do better
than that.
p.p.s. Notice how I capitalize Lunch every time? I take it
that seriously.
p.p.p.s. If there is already an established Lunch guy around
here, I ain’t here to steal your thunder. I’m fresh as a daisy around here, so
bear with me. You can be the Lunch King, I’ll be the Lunch Duke or Earl or
something. I can absolutely live with that.
Sincerely,
The Illustrious Mr. Charlton
p.p.p.p.s. To all the people stemming from the blog, yes, I caught a fair amount of shit for this email. Thank heavens I'm pretty.
